Social Groups and HR: Mastering the Art of Balance with Winnicott, Lencioni, and Jean-Michel's Café

Donald Winnicott and the Mirror Effect: Structuring but Not Deterministic

From our earliest social interactions, the mirror effect plays a crucial role in shaping our personality and self-esteem. Observing others helps us find our place, calibrate our actions, and understand group dynamics. Donald Winnicott, in his work on child development, emphasized the importance of a "good enough" environment, where a child's self-image is validated by those around them, helping to build identity. In contemporary professional life, platforms such as LinkedIn function as powerful mirror environments, where identity, recognition, and self-esteem are constantly negotiated through visibility, feedback, and implicit norms.

However, this mirror effect is not absolute. Individuals can transcend limiting environments and use their experiences as a foundation for resilience. Boris Cyrulnik, a pioneer of resilience theory, shows that even adverse contexts can become opportunities for growth through positive role models and transformative experiences. Thus, the mirror effect can serve as a catalyst for self-improvement rather than a restrictive force.

Neurodiversity and the Embodied Mind: When Thought Lives in the Body

The mirror effect also reveals how neurodivergent individuals — particularly those with ADHD — experience reality through a different form of cognition. Their challenge is not a lack of intelligence or memory, but a difficulty in executive functioning: the brain’s ability to anticipate, plan, sequence, and sustain attention over time.

At the neurological level, this difficulty often stems from dopaminergic irregularities in the pathways connecting the prefrontal cortex, where actions are planned, with the limbic system, where emotion and motivation originate. As a result, the ADHD brain struggles to maintain a stable mental representation of sequential tasks. Time and order become fluid, sensed rather than visualized.

Yet this difference is not a deficit of intellect — it is another way of knowing.
Instead of relying on mental sequencing, individuals with ADHD often depend on embodied or procedural memory — knowledge anchored in gesture, repetition, emotion, and rhythm.
What others mentally plan, they physically remember. The body becomes a living archive of movement, timing, and social attunement — what could be called a kinetic intelligence.

Here, Donald Winnicott’s notion of a good enough environment takes on new depth. For people with ADHD, the environment is not only emotionally containing but also cognitively scaffolding. A structured, rhythmic, and empathetic workplace can act as an external executive function, providing the temporal and organizational cues the brain struggles to generate internally.

And in truth, this dynamic extends beyond neurodiversity.
All humans rely, at some level, on bodily rhythm and repetition to structure time and meaning — through routines, gestures, rituals, or collective work rhythms. The body is the first clock of human experience, teaching us continuity, pause, and synchrony with others.

Thus, in ADHD and in life itself, the body precedes the plan.
It is through embodied presence — not mental sequencing — that coherence emerges. In psychologically safe environments, such as those described by Amy Edmondson, teams can become living mirrors that translate embodied intelligence into collective action.

Rosenberg and Freud: Self-Esteem as the Thread of Social Adaptation

Defining Self-Esteem in Professional and Psychological Contexts

Self-esteem, a central concept in psychology, refers to how individuals perceive their own worth. According to Rosenberg (1965), it is composed of two dimensions: a sense of competence ("Am I capable?") and a sense of self-worth ("Am I worthy of love and respect?"). Self-esteem is dynamic, shaped by social interactions and life experiences.

Contrary to common belief, high self-esteem does not equate to arrogance or narcissism. Sigmund Freud and later Heinz Kohut explored the complexities of narcissism. Freud introduced the idea of primary narcissism, a normal developmental stage where a child is self-centered. Jean Piaget's work on psycho-affective development further explains how children gradually learn to consider perspectives beyond their own.

Donald Winnicott introduced the concept of "me-for-others," emphasizing that the transition from primary narcissism to social relationships depends on a supportive environment. Deficiencies in this process can lead to pathological narcissism, often a defense mechanism for broken self-esteem. Boris Cyrulnik highlights the role of imitation in self-esteem development; observing and mirroring parental figures helps children shape their worldview. However, dysfunctional role models can negatively impact this process.

Patrick Lencioni and Team Cohesion: Building Strong Groups

Group or team cohesion results from complex interactions intertwining relational, emotional, and functional elements. In the workplace, cohesion is built on several key pillars:

Trust as a Foundation

Trust is the glue that binds successful teams. Inspired by Patrick Lencioni’s The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, trust is fostered in environments where vulnerability is accepted. Members who can admit mistakes, express doubts, and share ideas without fear of judgment contribute to a culture of psychological safety.

Common Goals: A Clear Direction

A cohesive team understands its purpose. Organizational culture expert Edgar Schein asserts that shared, explicit goals reduce conflict and enhance collaboration, aligning individual and collective efforts towards a meaningful objective.

Marshall Rosenberg and Communication: The Essential Connector

Clear, open communication prevents misunderstandings and resolves tensions. Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) provides tools for active listening and constructive dialogue. In a team, the quality of interactions is as vital as the quality of work output.

Thomas and Kilmann: Turning Conflict into Growth

Conflict is inevitable in any group. Managed well, it can drive progress. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument categorizes approaches from avoidance to collaboration. Cohesive teams leverage conflicts as opportunities for innovation and learning.

Amy Edmondson and Conflict: Barrier or Catalyst?

Ah, conflict! We often fear or avoid it, but should we? Conflict isn’t necessarily the villain; sometimes, it’s more like an awkward but insightful uncle—uncomfortable yet full of valuable truths.

A Safeguard Against Over-Adapting to Group Norms

In a group, conflict can prevent excessive conformity. Consider an employee who, for fear of disturbing the status quo, constantly meets implicit expectations. Over time, this leads to burnout or disengagement. Expressing conflict allows individuals to assert boundaries: “Stop, I’m here, and this isn’t working for me.”

The Role of Conflict in Innovation

A conflict-free group is like soup without salt—bland and ineffective. Constructive disagreement challenges assumptions and fuels creativity. Pixar, for example, institutionalized open critique with Braintrust meetings, where candid feedback drives high-quality storytelling. The key? A spirit of mutual respect.

That said, excessive unresolved conflict breeds dysfunction. Amy Edmondson’s concept of psychological safety ensures that individuals can express dissent without fear of retaliation, striking a balance between harmony and critical debate.

Conclusion: Building Resilient Teams with Winnicott, Edmondson, and Lencioni

Cohesion in a team is not decreed; it is cultivated. It rests on trust, shared goals, quality communication, and mature conflict resolution. When these elements are in place, a team evolves from a collection of individuals into a high-performing, resilient unit capable of tackling challenges together.

Dear HR professionals and coaches, you are the architects of this cohesion. Foster an environment where individuals flourish while contributing to a common purpose. A united team doesn’t just function—it thrives. Let’s build greatness, together.